With all the recent brouhaha regarding the Saturday Farmers Market, I can’t help but wonder why nobody seems upset about Downtown being completely shut down every Thursday. Talk about eating up parking spaces—parking is a hundred times more scarce than on Saturday. The great unwashed masses who venture out and choke the streets are not like the chipper community-minded fresh produce lovers of the CCFM. Roving gangs of smoking teenagers force you to jostle your way through to look at the scarce selection of actual produce… and by you, I mean me. I am personally inconvenienced, and I don’t feel like I’m exaggerating when I say that means it’s a pain in the ass for everyone and it needs to bend itself to accommodate me. Truthfully, I wish I loved it. I wish those obnoxious kids would quit dressing so trashy and get the hell out of my way. I wish their moms would quit giving them cigarettes in exchange for explaining what Twitter is and how to make penis emoticons for their Craigslist “Missed Connections” ads. I wish all the vendors from Saturday were there. I wish the music they booked was less boring. (No, really, can you PLEASE play “Margaritaville” AGAIN?)
But it will continue sucking, so I will continue to grab my flat of strawberries and run fast and far from that goddamn clusterfuck.