The Colbert Book Report

America Again: Re-becoming the
Greatness We Never Weren’t

Stephen Colbert

Grand Central Publishing

Stephen Colbert has become a legend, a master of tongue-in-cheek political burns. And now Book Nation, he’s come out with his third book. America Again comes at the reader in Hi-Def and 3-D. Yes, you read that correctly, it comes with 3-D glasses. Colbert is nothing if not thoroughly awesome. Fortunately you don’t need to read the entire book with the glasses, otherwise, he might have had to enclose a pack of aspirin for our headaches. 

This new tome of hilarity and hyperbole is Colbert’s take on everything about America, from Jobs and Healthcare to Elections and Wall Street. It’s packed with serious comedy in every corner. He explains complicated concepts like the Federal Reserve with a quick-witted diagram and compares Wall Street to a “giant church bake sale, only with less backstabbing.” He goes on to compare Collateralized Debt Obligations to the brownie table at the bake sale. All kinds of people bring their brownies to sell, but Mrs. Havermeyer has a secret, she puts a little bit of shit in her batter. “That lets her turn a bigger profit on her brownies because baking with shit saves her money on more expensive ingredients, like things that don’t come out of your anus.” Once everybody catches on to Mrs. Havermeyer’s scheme, they all start baking their brownies with shit and once the public realizes that all the brownies have shit in them, “suddenly, nobody’s buying brownies, and the bake sale collapses.” I get it now!

Book Nation, I won’t lie, I was expecting a lot from America Again. But I have not been disappointed. Even though when I was at the Costco buying it, a man holding a copy tossed it down and said, “this guy’s an ass.” And I could tell he was a man of discerning taste, a taste for hot dogs; wearing their condiments on his shirt like badges of honor showcasing how many Costco wieners he slayed that day. But nonetheless, I persevered and purchased the book. Going into this election, I realized it was the right move. I now have a better understanding of the problems our nation doesn’t really face, and how to do my part to help “move America forward to re-become what it once was and never lost, again.” Now in 3-D. 

Sara makes the words happen.