Good news, nerds. I’ve got something new you can file with “Seeing People Trip While Walking,” and “Smelling Your Own Farts” (see also: things that you secretly enjoy). It was recently revealed that Alec Guinness, who you might know better as the actor who portrayed Obi-Wan Kenobi in the original Star Wars films, had mixed emotions about accepting the now-famous role. In Alec Guinness: A Biography, excerpts of letters that were sent from Guinness to a friend show his blatant hesitation.

“I have been offered a movie (20th Cent. Fox) which I may accept, if they come up with proper money. London and N. Africa, starting in mid-March. Science fiction – which gives me pause – but is to be directed by Paul Lucas who did American Graffiti, which makes me feel I should. Big part. Fairy-tale rubbish but could be interesting perhaps.”

Oh man. Not only did he think the movie was “fairy-tale rubbish,” he referred to George Lucas as “Paul”. Reeeal boner move, Guinness. Not cool. In another letter sent during production, it gets even better.


“…new rubbish dialogue reaches me every other day on wedges of pink paper – and none of it makes my character clear or even bearable. I just think, thankfully, of the lovely bread, which will help me keep going until next April even if Yahoo collapses in a week… I must off to studio and work with a dwarf (very sweet – and he has to wash in a bidet) and your fellow countrymen Mark Hamill and Tennyson (that can’t be right) Ford. Ellison (? – No!) – well, a rangy, languid young man who is probably intelligent and amusing.”

Oh Guinness, you old so-and-so…. Another regrettable move this week comes to us from Jacob Cox-Brown, a dummy who decided to post an update to his Facebook account after driving drunk. Geekologie published the update, which read: “Drivin drunk… classsic 😉 but to whoever’s vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P” Jesus Christ, Jacob. A winky emoticon? Really? Unfortunately for Jake, the owner of the Scion he hit reported it, and the police were informed about the status update. Pieces of his car were found at the scene of the accident, and he was soon after booked at Clatsop County Jail. Classic.

Lastly, it seems as though Norovirus is making the rounds about town again. If any of you dear readers have been hit with the bug, then maybe I can help give your gross, vomit-laden cloud a silver lining. A British laboratory decided to look into the ins and (mostly) outs of projectile vomiting. Enter “Larry”, the vomiting robot. Hit up YouTube for the video, it’s pretty incredible. And for all you sickies out there presently reading this from your toilet, here’s hoping for a speedy recovery.
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Zooey Mae has been working as a writer monkey for Synthesis Weekly since 2007. Her favorite things include (but are not limited to), Jeffrey Brown, bubble wrap, Craig Thompson, pillow forts, receiving handwritten letters, and whiskey. She spends her free time stockpiling supplies for the impending robot Apocalypse and avoiding eye contact with strangers.