Sh*t Wizard

After spending the weekend in the bay area, it was more than a little difficult to come back to the sweaty ballsack known as Butte County. The shock of going from a breezy, mild temperature to the stupid hot climate of Chico was akin to the time my man-friend’s cat woke me up by biting my face. Surprise and pain followed by blinding anger. I’ve come to the conclusion (as I do every summer in this godforsaken place) that I’m really not a summer person. I like the idea of summer, but not so much the actual experience. Sure, I like the highlights. The midnight bike rides, sitting on a porch at dusk and listening to the crickets, and of course, the river. Coming with summer is of course the blinding heat, the stroller-palooza that is the Thursday night market, and the fact that every time you go outside at night you must wear shoes lest you risk re-creating the scene in Temple of Doom when Indy, Shortround & the blonde afterthought realize they’re trodding on cockroaches. Crunch, crunch, vomit.

I blame my ancestors. My Russian/Scottish heritage better prepares me for eating nothing but soup, wearing scratchy sweaters, and a predisposition for depression than it does for sweating miserably like a piece of cheese dropped on a sidewalk. I know I’ve been talking about the weather a lot lately, but I have trouble focusing on things that aren’t immediately in front of me. Speaking of which, one of the windows open on my laptop is a delightful new webcomic by Megan Rosalarian Gedris about a little girl who attends a school for mutants. The little girl’s super power? Fecal kinesis. She can control poop. A shit wizard, if you will. Or “witch” I suppose, if you’re hung up on gender. In any case, it’s pretty fantastic. The full comic can be found at:

Since I began on such a sour (and sweaty) note, I’d like to end on a positive. Many of you may know Rob Reeves, a Chico-native who has played in local bands like Team Shark Week, Horsefight, and Slow Down Theo. Well hold onto your butts, because this dapper gentleman is getting hitched! Many of you may know Rob from his photography and jaunty moustache, or his beautiful lady-friend Kat from her popular fashion-based Instagram feed, “Fashion Pen Pals.” Congratulations to them both, here’s hoping they have a wonderful life together that’s heavy on rich adventures and creative undertakings, and sparse on sweaty summers and cockroach stomping. Unless they’re into that. Anyway, congratulations!

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Zooey Mae has been working as a writer monkey for Synthesis Weekly since 2007. Her favorite things include (but are not limited to), Jeffrey Brown, bubble wrap, Craig Thompson, pillow forts, receiving handwritten letters, and whiskey. She spends her free time stockpiling supplies for the impending robot Apocalypse and avoiding eye contact with strangers.


  1. Not Rob says:

    The Bay Area gets hot too! The other day it was almost 80 degrees!