Sexytimes

Dear Balls,

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. Our anniversary is coming up and I’d like to surprise him with some unexpected fun in the bedroom. Do you have any ideas?

Congratulations to both of you on 10 years of wedded bliss!

Let me guess; you enjoy an adequate love life, but are looking for something extraordinary—something exciting to show that after ten years, sex with each other can feel new and exhilarating! I have just the thing for you two lovebirds (and for anyone else looking to explore some uncharted sexy waters of sex).

Please find appended to this space some of my very own hand-crafted Sexytimes Love Coupons. Not like the tired, familiar coupons of novelty shops promising shoulder rubs and stripteases. These certificates are sure to drop a habanero pepper right onto your privates.

Behold:

 

coupons-row

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A jaunty gent, Balls McPhearson offers timeless advice to life's puzzlers. He enjoys outdoor sport and appreciates fine cigars as well as high quality mustache wax.