The Putin/Palin GOP Dream Ticket for 2016

WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN RUBLES

American right wingers are having an orgasmic love affair with Vlad Putin, the former KGB agent and topless model who currently runs things over in Russia, the place Ronald Reagan thought was the black heart of “the evil empire,” and the place Sarah Palin can see from her house. The Tea Party wing of the Republican Party, which is about the only wing they have if you don’t count the really rich guys whose money and clout provide the never-ending hate-and-fear that keeps so many less-than-bright Americans upset about all the wrong things. Keeping the yahoos stirred up and fearful is a piece of cake for the corporate honchos who control American media and use that forum to warn working people about things like the war on Christmas, and the threat to democracy from voter fraud, a fraudulent issue that keeps old white people convinced that black people are cheating at just about everything from voting to food stamp eligibility. In this Fox-y scenario, lots of retirees spend their golden years resenting how all those darker-skinned people are a) sucking up benefits that should rightfully be theirs, and b) are about to murder them in their beds or on the streets. Only the NRA stands between them and that horde of murderous black thugs in hoodies haunting their darkest nightmares.

And with a black dude in the White House (ain’t that a bitch?) there are easy ways to ensure that fear never lets up, making the job of the Koch brothers and the Walmart heirs easier than it’s ever been when it comes to distracting the inattentive or the stupid from real threats to their well being, or their grandkids’ futures.

But it ain’t just dark people who keep the more pliable right wingers worked up. There’s also the gay folks who haunt the insecurities of assorted white guys who feel such need for guns and roaring engines between their legs in order to quiet that sneaking suspicion that they might actually be gay themselves. Y’know, like all those “wide stance” Republican gay bashers who’ve gotten caught with their pants down, literally, in men’s rooms and gay bars where they weren’t supposed to be.

What better manifestation of latent homsexual yearnings than this man crush so many right wing dipwads have on Vladimir Putin, a guy who loves parading around half nekkid to the delight of bully boy right wingers who get pretty horny just looking at this guy’s pec pics as he poses, sans shirt, holding a big gun—a bad ass real men can look up to, though it doesn’t bear much thought imagining what position a real man would have to be in to look up to this strutting little shrimp (Putin’s 5’5”, and he clearly has never gotten over it).

Unlike Barack Obama, Putin’s no pussy, and if they could trade Obama for Putin, they’d take the trade in a hot minute.

Throw in Simpleminded Sister Sarah on the bottom half of the ticket and you’ve got a Republican Dream Team for the 2016 presidential race.

Comments

  1. Leland Yeeha says:

    How about an article expressing your views on progressive democrat liberals getting busted for multiple felonies, fast and furious murders, Benghazi, Obama’s forced collapse of the health care system, BLM thuggery, billions of dollars in welfare fraud, IRS targeting republicans, and how many muslims Obama has placed in the american government?

    1. Marie Nater says:

      Mr. Yeeha (really?) Why don’t YOU write the article, since you seem to have all your ducks in a row regarding the subjects you want covered? If you’re a little fuzzy on any of the details, I sure re-runs of fox news can jog your memory.

    2. Mark Oliver says:

      @ Leland Yeeha
      I would be fascinated to know, Leland Yeeha, what YOUR OWN views are on the subjects you list.

      “… progressive democrat liberals getting busted for multiple felonies …”
      I didn’t know there were still any “progressive democrat liberals” around (AFAIK, they have all retired or died out), but – in any case – I am glad to know that no matter who the President happens to be, Democratic felons have no safe haven: that’s very good news, indeed. The Republican felons in prison could probably use some company … and someone to preach to besides the choir. If Democratic felons start getting away with anything and everything (like the Republicans in NJ perennially seem to do), give us a shout. Please.

      “… Benghazi …”
      Does the Ambassador bear no responsibility for his own actions? If he thought of himself as irreplaceable and indispensable, he would probably not have been visiting Benghazi in the first place … or at least would not have placed himself in an inherently insecure context. But, instead, he did his job as he saw it in the manner of his own choosing. Neither the President or the Secretary of State can or should micro-manage every decision made by every ambassador.

      Me, I would have taken the position, “Until Congress approves a rational level of funding for embassy security, I’m staying locked up tight, even if it means sitting on my hands. If you don’t like it, get somebody else.” Call me yellow, I can take it.

      When we hear news from that region, it is almost uniformly bad news. Ronald Reagan put a multinational force in Beirut, intervening in a civil war (which just sounds like bad news on the face of it). On 18Apr83, terrorists blew up the US Embassy, killing 17 Americans. AFAIK, no one went to prison and the President was not impeached. In fact, the President was re-elected; apparently, US citizens did not take the tragic miscalculation very hard.

      Reagan’s administration also launched the Space Shuttle in freezing weather when even the SRB manufacturer knew that frozen o-rings might fail [there had never even been a test firing in freezing conditions; the boosters were in no way certified for flight under such circumstances], resulting in the loss of all 7 souls aboard (not to mention the loss of an extremely costly spacecraft). Yet somehow (perhaps you can explain), no one went to prison and the President was not impeached. How could that be?

      Just what is it you want to say about Benghazi?

      “… Obama’s forced collapse of the health care system …”
      You mean like Mitt Romney’s (2006-present) “forced collapse” of the Massachusetts health care system?

      I guess I’m behind on the news. Last I heard, the percentage of the insured population was up, freeloading was down, competition among and access to private insurance company policies was up, the great health-care cost spiral was slowed, etc. Which part of the system shows signs of “collapse”? Where?

      So implementation of a scheme hatched by the Heritage Foundation for the purpose of promoting / strengthening the private insurance industry (and protect it from a 1-payer government-run system) is likely to bring about, as you put it, the “collapse of the health care system”? That your theory, is it?

      [See The Heritage Foundation publication #218: Assuring Affordable Health Care for All Americans by Stuart M. Butler, Ph.D., 1989]

      “… billions of dollars in welfare fraud …”
      You disapprove of fraud? Delighted to hear it. Could you please post a link to your data so the rest of us can be enlightened? Much obliged.

      “… BLM thuggery …”
      If I understand correctly, the cattle confiscation was under court order and no persons were injured. I have not heard yet the “thuggery” story (except to the extent that producing automatic weapons and threatening government agents with them constitutes “thuggery”).

      Since you disapprove of fraud (as noted above), it must be the case that you want the government to collect all grazing fees that it is owed, n’est-ce pas? For the government to be neglectful in collecting these fees would be for them to be lackadaisical about collecting taxes. Lethargic collection by the Government of monies owed means money out of the pockets of all of the rest of us, including out of your own pockets. If our government was negligent in this matter, you would scream bloody murder about THAT administrative FAILURE … wouldn’t you?

      Suppose the Fed’s arbitrarily charged its ‘friends’ little or nothing in grazing fees, but charged everyone else full freight: how would you feel about THAT arrangement?

      Mr. Cliven Bundy is, among other things, a freeloader; he refuses to pay his grazing fees and does not even acknowledge that the Federal Government exists; consequently (unlike other ranchers) he himself is entitled (supposedly) to graze for free. Now a freeloader – getting his grazing done on what amounts to a huge government subsidy – is the kind of person you might expect Democrats to support and approve of, but certainly not the kind of person we should expect any Republican to approve of. Which side are you on?

      “… how many muslims Obama has placed in the american government”

      I myself can’t say much about “how many” because I have no idea what the number might be; do you?

      You favor religious tests for political or governmental executive offices, do you? Could it be that you are not from around here (i.e., the USA)? Although it is all too often ignored, we are _supposed_ to be governed under a Constitution; according to Article VI, paragraph 3:
      “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.”

      You have a problem with that? Civil government not really your cup of tea?

      Since you seem to disapprove of this arrangement, I wonder: is your alternative model what you want to emulated by other countries as well? You want religious tests for political or governmental executive offices in Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Egypt, China et al.? This would make the world a better place (and would make better lives for the Christians living in those countries)? That your theory, is it?

  2. Nardo says:

    Totally bitchy_ass article. This fucking dude is way out o touch.
    This is not the voice we democrats want to be heard for us. You sound psycho. Yer fucked up man. See a doctor. Take a pill.

    1. Mark Oliver says:

      If any of your readers are curious about the meaning of the nearly inscrutable idiom, “the pot calling the kettle black” (which comes down to us, arguably, from William Penn and/or Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra), that there’s a fine example of it as seen out in the wild.

      https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pot_calling_the_kettle_black
      http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/projection/

      This is a good opportunity to study the idiom “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” as well.

      The raven chides blackness!

  3. GRANDPA NICOLAI says:

    Mark’s long bitching session sounds like he’s all pissed off after sucking down a few too many shots of vodka. Or maybe his male partner jilted him. Just keep shooting your mouth off until you feel better. It’s what your type does.

  4. REMONSTER says:

    i dont get it. so its a article about the writer is gay and has a gay crush on putin. and obama is a black man and the writers bitch. or the writer is obamas bitch. or the writer is a gay bitch that hates nra but loves butt sex, and sucks dark skinned people and got fucked by a fox.
    then he says he gets horny looking at right wing boys
    BUT JAIME LEFT OUT THE PART WHERE HE LIKES BIG BLACK MEN FUDGE PACKING HIM WHILE HE BURNS THE AMERICAN FLAG. YOU MY HERO JAIME.

  5. Lee Roader says:

    Which leads up to the question of
    How many “crocks” does a crocksucker suck before he gets hired to write lies by the Synthesis Weakly?