Observing National Nut Day

 

 

 

Tomorrow, October 22, is National Nut Day, making this a perfect moment to share this Open Letter to Black Folks from Their Friends at the Tea Party:

Dear Negroes, 

Lots of libtards would have you believe that those of us in the Tea Party are down on you folks, motivated mostly by our hatred of Barack Obama—the half-white man who is the leader of a conspiracy of God-hating Muslims who are turning America into a suburb of Russia. Obama, as smart people know, was born in Kenya, the capital city of Hawaii. 

Nearly all you Negroes voted for Obama because you hoped he’d give you lots of free stuff, without making you work for a living like us white folks do. 

But those of us in the Tea Party know there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Most of us are getting Medicare and Social Security, but we know resources aren’t inexhaustible, so if lots more people get added to health insurance coverage, it’s likely we, ourselves, could lose something. It’s not a racial deal when so many of us get upset with you Negroes for supporting this guy who is draining the Treasury to give lots of money to the people he tricked into putting him in an office he should never have gotten into. 

But you really mustn’t believe that us Tea Party people don’t like you black folks. We count maybe a dozen people of your pigmentation among our membership. We think the world of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, for instance—a black man who got ahead without Affirmative Action, and without the aid of people in high places, if you don’t count George H.W. Bush, who put him on the Supreme Court just to shut up so many of those high-profile Negroes who are always complaining about this nation that so graciously gave them freedom, and the right to vote (in most places, without too much interference). 

The Tea Party isn’t a racist organization. When you see people at our rallies carrying the Confederate flag, that doesn’t mean they are pro-slavery. It just means they favor the right of individual states to make slavery legal if they want to, because that is a state’s-rights issue. 

And when Joe the Plumber explained that “wanting a white Republican President doesn’t make you racist. It makes you American,” Joe was only saying what any real American thinks. Expressing a personal preference is a person’s right in a free country. 

Anti-God, anti-gun, and pro-homo Democrats treat you black folks like they own you. It puzzles those of us with enduring American values to constantly be told we don’t know how to relate to the darker-skinned people in our country. Just because we don’t like the current illegitimate president doesn’t mean we don’t like you. As Arizona Republican Trent Franks recently said of Obama: “…he is an enemy of humanity.” Since you Negroes are part of humanity too, those of us in the Tea Party are just looking out for you, as we’ve tried so hard to do ever since we lifted you from darkness and brought you to this great land of liberty. 

All right-thinking Christian American black folks certainly share the views expressed by patriot Larry Klayman, who told a recent rally that we are “ruled by a president who bows down to Allah.” Klayman, with the intelligence God denied Democrats, said it was time “to demand that this president leave town, to get up, to put the Quran down, to get up off his knees, and to figuratively come out with his hands up.” 

Those of us in the Tea Party cannot imagine why our Negro friends would have a problem with any of that. 

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Comments

  1. LaTarves Brooks says:

    Worst article I’ve ever read in my life. I hope no one is paying you to write this racist bullshit.

  2. Bill Ockama says:

    This guy is really confused, or sick, or needs a doctor.

  3. A. Pistoffreader says:

    I can’t believe anyone would actually print this douche nozzle bilge water.