A Little Reassurance About Our Future From David Little

In a recent op-ed column, Chico Enterprise-Record editor, David Little, made the definitive case against the idea that man-made climate change is something we need to worry about. In that piece, he began by bragging on how age and experience as a journalist had transformed him into being a pretty skeptical customer, an “old journalist” who was nobody’s fool when it comes to things like global warming. He’d learned his lesson way back in the ‘70s, before age and journalism made him the savvy customer he is now, unwilling to accept other people’s notions of things unless those notions conform with what he wants to believe, anyway. He knows better now because back when he was a kid, some people were touting the prospect of a “mini Ice Age,” a threat that freaked him out entirely as he envisioned a future of ice and snow ruining his summers. Because those warnings from a handful of scientists failed to materialize, David learned a great lesson. Now, as the signs of manmade climate change are everywhere, and as 97% of the world’s scientists have offered a library full of compelling evidence that we’re in perilously dire straits, David Little just ain’t buyin’ any of it. As one of his political heroes once said: “There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.”

David Little isn’t about to be fooled again, and he’s got his own counter evidence to bring to the party. On the day Governor Jerry Brown issued a warning about climate change, Editor Little found that California had recorded the highest and the lowest temperatures in the lower 48 states. This prompted him to ask a spectacularly irrelevant rhetorical question. “Are those extremes in such proximity a product of climate change?” he wondered, “or just climate?”

Take that, world scientific community, and score one for Mr. Little, and the legion of climate-change deniers who wrote in on the Enterprise-Record website to congratulate him on his courage in speaking out against  this conspiracy of dumb-ass scientists who are, quite obviously, working to bring down the world’s economic engines and impose the dream of cleaner technology on our unsuspecting grandchildren. David Little had gone where few other old journalists dare to go, lending column inches to the Koch brothers and other liberty lovers who only have our best interests at heart, pushing back against pesky scientists who don’t know jack shit about science.

So chill the fuck out, people; there are no consequences to pumping billions and billions of tons of hydrocarbon pollution into the atmosphere in ways that are utterly unprecedented.

Nope. Nothing to see here, folks. Just liberals getting all hoax-y on your ass cuz they enjoy freaking you out. That’s mostly what scientists do, anyway. Remember that gravity nonsense they tried to run by us a few centuries ago? Or that ungodly evolution crap? Libtards. Man, they never run out of their bullshit, do they?

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Comments

  1. Murray Suid says:

    Denying that humans can great impact the environment isn’t new. For example, here’s a quote from Sarah Elkin’s “Los Angeles and the History of Air Pollution.” Writing about the 1940s and 1950s, the author reports:

    “The automobile industry at first denied responsibility for Los Angeles’s air pollution, and then complained that catalytic converters were too difficult to make, were too expensive, and would cost the country jobs and prosperity—the same objections that the opponents of the EPA’s new rules are raising now.”
    http://uncpressblog.com/2012/02/23/sarah-s-elkind-los-angeles-and-the-history-of-air-pollution/

  2. Lee Roader says:

    What lies will be next, crock sucker? The sky is falling?
    Glad to see you get fired.

  3. C.G. says:

    Fired, muthafucka!