Letter from the Editor

Greetings, Synthesis readers! In an effort to spare you any fear or confusion, let me begin by handing you a cup of warm toddy, and telling you in a soft voice that Sara is taking a little time off. Shhh, shhh, take a sip of your toddy, it’s OK. It’s not because of anything you did, Sara just needs to spend some time with her family. I know what you’re thinking: usually that means “I had a very public scandal involving my naughty parts, and in an unrelated matter I’m going over here to spend time with my family.” But no, it’s just the boring version: “I need a vacation before I kill all my coworkers.” And bless her heart, she deserves it.

And so it falls to me, gentle readers, to lubricate your supple minds and ready you for the pages ahead. Let me introduce myself; I’m Amy, your Entertainment Editor, and temporary Sara-surrogate.

This week, we officially welcome the college students back with an issue dedicated entirely to the pleasures and pitfalls of their impending adventure. Find out whether you’re a dumb Heather or a clever Amy (hey, that’s my name!), and get some timeless advice on how to win at life. Gain perspective on both ends of the college experience from our resident post-post-grad Jaime O’Neill, and bushy-tailed incoming freshman Rachel Calvosa. Our Sexytimes advisor Balls McPhearson will help clarify the proper method for not raping anyone (finally), and our brilliant columnists will serve up a spread of relevant thought-snacks.

We also have the third installment of our Round Robin Fiction serial. If you missed the first two—it’s intense, and you should definitely go to synthesisweekly.com and search “round robin.” There’s only one more part coming, so this is your perfect chance to catch up and get in on the breathless anticipation that’s been gripping Chico by the nethers.

In other news, I just found out that Kalico Kitchen is not only doing delicious 2-for-1 Broaster® Chicken dinners on Wednesdays, but they’re now doing Karaoke too. With PRIZES. Delicious Broaster® Chicken. Prizes. Every Wednesday forever is planned.

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Managing Editor for Synthesis Weekly. Amy likes to make clothes, plant flowers, and chase butterflies.