Kaz is a Jerk Now, Creepy Callers, The Barn, and Beer

I don’t even know where to start. First of all, never put your cat on a pedestal that isn’t covered in beige carpet. As I’m sure you noticed, last week we didn’t get the Butte Humane Society Pet of The Week in time for publication (they were apparently too busy throwing Bidwell Bark, as if animals are more important than our needs), so we decided it was the perfect time to honor our favorite pet/erstwhile writer, Kaz. Great idea, right? Kaz is so sweet and simple, he definitely won’t turn into a total diva and lord his status over the entire household. Wrong. He’s been like, “Throw this little hair tie for me, I’m the Pet of The Week! Spray whipped cream in my mouth, I’m the Pet of The Week! Clean up my barf with two pieces of junk mail or I’ll just eat it in front of you, I’m the Pet of The Week!” Fame, man: it changes people/cats.

As if that weren’t enough, I got a very mysterious phone call that has my breath so bated it’s like I’m trying to catch a fish in my lungs while I wait. So, this guy calls and asks me who’s in charge of hiring. I tell him it depends on the position, so he asks who specifically hires the writers. I tell him that it’s me, but technically our writers are all freelance, not staff. He says, “Oh, I know they’re freelance,” in this weirdly bemused tone, “I have a complaint about one of your writers and I want to send you something.” “Oh,” I say, “Well, you can feel free to email me that, it’s amy@synthesis.net…” “Ohhhhh no,” he laughs, not unlike an evil count who lives in a spooky old castle where it’s always storming (I realize I just described The Count from Sesame Street, just picture him counting grams of ricin or something), “I’ll be mailing this.” It’s been days now, am I getting sent Anthrax? A severed head? A politely worded critique of one of my writers? WHAT THE EFF IS EVEN HAPPENING?

Things aren’t all bad, though. I got some exciting news about The Barn. They’re still finishing up a few renovation projects, but much like the second Death Star, they’re fully operational! In addition to establishing their non-profit status and starting up their subscription service (just $10 a month—PayPal to cmblamer@gmail.com, tax deductible) they’ve got the movie screen all set up and they’re showing a classic horror flick a night through October (doors open at 6pm). It’s really neat seeing people pitch in their time and share their resources to help this project take shape. Also, I’m lazy and have done absolutely nothing, so I appreciate it extra-much.

Speaking of things I appreciate, fall (the best season by far) is finally creeping into the air, the trees are blushing with bits of red, and it’s time to enjoy the fruits of [other people’s] labor and eat and drink like crazy. In the spirit of that, Sierra Nevada is hosting its second annual Single, Fresh, Wet & Wild Harvest Festival on the 18th, where one can taste beer from over 50 breweries (plus food and music and junk), and there are still a few tickets left. It’s like a mulligan for all of us who missed Oktoberfest this past weekend. I like beer.

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Managing Editor for Synthesis Weekly. Amy likes to make clothes, plant flowers, and chase butterflies.