A Guest Comment By Rand Paul


I recently asked Senator Rand Paul if he’d write a replacement column for me. I’d been under the weather and had fallen behind on my freelance writing chores, so I hoped he might, as a public servant, help me out. But I was hesitant to seek a favor from him. After all, he’s a person of importance and I’m but a lowly scribbler. Our politics are worlds apart, and besides, he doesn’t know me from a load of hay.

But nothing ventured, nothing gained, as I always say. So I contacted Senator Paul’s office and made my request. Imagine my surprise when he agreed to do this favor for a man who was neither a constituent, nor a campaign contributor. I received the Senator’s copy within two days of requesting it, and that right there is a rebuttal to people who say you can’t count on politicians to get anything done. Not only did Senator Paul’s column come back to me PDQ, it also turned out to be pretty darn good. More to the point, Dr. Paul said I could keep whatever might be paid for the piece since he didn’t really need the money, and was only too happy to have his message spread.

I knew no editor in his or her right mind would turn down a column written by so innovative a thinker and such a newsworthy public figure. I immediately began shopping his guest comment around in the draft you see below:

Guest Commentary: Making American Good Again 

By Rand Paul 

Four score and seven years ago, back in 1926, Calvin Coolidge presided over the kind of prosperity never seen when the Democrat Party is in control, stomping out individual initiative and hamstringing those productive people who are always being held back by lesser mortals. When I was starting out, two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled, and that has made all the difference. If I hadn’t taken the less traveled road, I’d still be an ophthalmologist instead of a Senator and, in all probability, your next president. 

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. As I told a crowd of supporters in Louisville just last week, a government is the most dangerous threat to man’s rights. Government “help” to business is just as disastrous as government persecution. The only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off. That’s why we must fight regulation of business and industry with all our might. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. 

Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think, and money is the barometer of a society’s virtue. There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil, and that’s why we must never compromise; that’s why we must resist the Republicans In Name Only because they are evil. 

We are fast approaching the stage of the ultimate inversion: where the government is free to do anything it pleases, while the citizens may act only by permission—which is the stage of the darkest periods of human history: rule by brute force. Under Obama, we’re nearing that stage. 

I hope you’ll share my view that wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think, and the most depraved type of human being is the man without a purpose. If you can think of a better purpose than amassing wealth, I’d like to hear it—because only the man who does not need it is fit to inherit wealth, the man who would make his fortune no matter where he started. Just ask Donald Trump, or any of the other men who should inspire us to emulate them—those who amass wealth without obvious advantages. 

Man’s unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself. So we must resist the global-warming hoaxsters, the environmental extremists, and the socialistic government regulators who would prevent us from adjusting the planet to our needs, and deny us the reward due to our species. 

That was Senator Paul’s guest column, sent to several editorial page editors. To my amazement, the rejections began arriving immediately, informing me that nearly the entire column had been plagiarized, mostly from things written by Ayn Rand.

I’ve never considered myself to be naïve. I knew politicians were often larcenous, but it never occurred to me that their thievery might extend to stealing


  1. Murray Suid says:

    Jaime, what a daring thing for you to put Mr. Paul’s essay into your space. I guess you were following my famous saying that cowards die a thousand deaths, but writing professors never die, they just fade away.

    Anyway, I know that you’re working hard to become a writer worth reading. My advice: Study the way Mr. Rand does it in the guest column you worked so hard to acquire. Don’t denigrate it just because you didn’t pay him; remember, the best things in life are free.

    As I’ve often told my students, “Don’t shade your eyes. Plagiarize.”

    One last thing that I’ve come up with recently: If anyone criticizes your writing, remember that a wounded deer leaps the highest. Yeah, and to your own self be true.

  2. Bill Ockama says:

    JAIME O’NEILL your insight and wit have inspired me to…

    Puke my guts out at your insanity and stupidity.

  3. Howard Rumph says:

    Shitty article, and written by a Republican hater. Now tell us what Obongo’s ass tastes like.

  4. Bill Croke says:

    Jaime, How are you? I didn’t read the piece above, so, whatever. I see you’ve resurrected the Old Crock. I was curious what you’ve been up to lately, so I went Googling around. I wonder if you ever saw “The Old Crock” piece I did about you in the American Spectator in 2009? Just curious. It’s in the archive or just google the title. Anyway, nothing vile, certainly not compared to the stuff you’ve been putting out the last few years. Reading you is as enjoyable as a prostate exam, but that’s neither here nor there, suffice it to say I don’t read you any more. In light of Benghazi, the IRS scandal, the multiple sins of the Justice Dept. , and now the pathetic advent of the Affordable Care Act, the healthcare version of a 1970s-era Soviet supermarket—well, I don’t know how you spin it, but you’ll always have the Dick Cheney piñata to beat on—so there you go. Best to you and yours. Hope you are well.

  5. Terry Glover says:

    Jaime O’Neill, please hang yourself. I’ll buy the rope.

  6. A. Pistoffreader says: