If you’re any kind of comic book enthusiast, then you’re probably already aware of Free Comic Book Day. Held every year on the first Saturday in May, this day is the bane of the existence of some grumpy comic shop owners, enjoyed by regular customers, and widely accepted as the greatest day in the world if you’re a kid who likes comics.
You might wonder why I’m bringing this up now, when the day in question (this year it fell on May 4th), has already passed. Partly it’s because the really awesome thing I’m about to mention only just happened; mostly it’s because the semester is ending, final projects and exams are being issued, and I’m losing my goddamn mind. (Side note to every teacher I’ve ever had: we all know group projects are just a way for you to not have to grade as many papers/projects. Students hate group work; please, for the love of God, stop assigning it!)
Anyway, to the point: The Bangor Daily News site has reported that this year on Free Comic Book Day in Portland, Maine, there was a bit of an incident outside of Coast City Comics. A crowd had gathered in anticipation of free comics, with about a dozen people relishing in the spirit by dressing up as their favorite fictional characters. Two such individuals—one dressed as a Stormtrooper, the other as a Ghostbuster—were dealt the short end of the stick that day, as they were both assaulted by a large man who I can only assume hates comic books. Or Stormtroopers. Or Ghostbusters.
Adam Barnes, 31, of Portland, was charged with two counts of assault, disorderly conduct, and five counts of criminal threatening. This 6’4”, 300 pound behemoth charged across the street, attacking the Stormtrooper and Ghostbuster for seemingly no reason at all. Barnes was only brought down when police arrived on the scene and tased him into submission (and most likely, urination). The five counts of criminal threatening were tacked onto his charges when police arrived and Barnes chose to taunt and challenge the officers (see also: things not to do to someone who has a taser).
In weird, new-product news, robots now exist (because Japan is crazy and amazing), designed to either smell your breath or sniff your feet, and respond accordingly. A chart online shows each robot and their possible reactions to your gross odors. The breath-smelling robot looks like a disembodied woman’s head fastened to a box, like something a serial killer would fashion to keep him company. Her reactions range from “Your breath smells like citrus!” to my favorite, “Emergency taking place!” I think it’s safe to say that if you have someone (robotic or otherwise) refer to your breath as an emergency, you’ve got real problems happening inside your mouth. The foot-smelling one is a little dog, who either cuddles you or loses consciousness based on the offensiveness of your foot odor. Stay weird, Japan.