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Patient Zero


Let me just say, I touched a LOT of doorknobs that day, and pressed every button in the elevator in Butte Hall.

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Chico College Confession #4572


I’ve said it before, but chastising the victim of rape for placing themselves in that situation, wearing certain clothing, etc, really is focusing on the wrong end of the dick.

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I Am A Pod.


I feel like my allergies have crescendoed to a point where I’m living the life of a subhuman. I am a pod. A congested, worthless pod.

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Koreanical Ruminations: Part II


Somewhere in my pre-Korea, panic-induced research, I stumbled across a listing that sounded, frankly, too good to be true.

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Snape Kills Dumbledore


The new season of Game Of Thrones premiered a couple of Sundays ago, and thankfully it lived up to the impressively high bar they’ve set for themselves.

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Koreanical Ruminations: Part One


Apparently my brother and Mirin knew what they were (testicles), but wanted to order them anyway to see if they could get everyone to eat balls.

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Game of Spoilers


Apparently there’s a whole slew of customs centered around drinking etiquette, and public drunkenness is a totally normal thing there.

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Being the idiot weirdo that I am, I delight in discovering an unfettered account of how others live their lives.

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Listen Ladies, Get It Together


I just don’t see where we as females further the “feminist” cause by lashing out and attempting to make men learn by mistreating them in the same ways we’ve experienced

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Bro-ing Down With the Broapp


There’s an app that was just released for Android called BroApp that automatically sends prewritten messages to your girlfriend to give the illusion that you don’t suck.

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Taken 3: Takin’ It To South Korea


My main issue is that I don’t know anyone that would Liam Neeson their way across South Asia trying to get me back.

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Can Not Host/No Touching


Hey, maybe I should introduce my neighbor’s swamp diarrhea-spewing dog to the cat. Maybe they’ll destroy each other. Maybe I just solved all my problems.

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You’re Not Wrong Walter, You’re Just An A**hole


Despite how much I hate it when people try to make something sound whimsical by misspelling words on purpose, this rug is amazing and would probably really tie a room together.

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Blobfish Blues


Turns out that goats, even little adorable ones, really love charging and headbutting things as a whimsical way of playing.

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Mind Your Farts


I got a lot of feedback about my column topic last week. Turns out, you people really love stories about farts.

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