I’m sure with my impressive portfolio I’ll immediately be snapped up by one of the greats, like The National Enquirer or Dog Fancy. Actually, if any of you “know a guy” there, hook it up.
Some might not understand us feeling gratified in spite of the Synthesis’ demise. But they’re idiots who don’t understand what it was like to work here.
When the idea is first presented, it’s framed as a vacation. “Just think, it’s your last semester of college! Wouldn’t it be great to take a little week-long break in the middle of it?”
Can we talk for a minute about the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie?
…he texts me from my mother’s phone. As my mother. Speaking about himself in the third person. This is an exchange that occurred last week
it’s amazing how many moments that are supposed to be important and memorable just end up being awkward affairs where I sit around thinking “is this it?” while trying not to fart and ruin things for everyone else.
a helpful list of handy hints that are sure to make your next plane ride a breeze.
You now have some serious decisions before you:
The year 2015 will mark eight years since I first started at Synthesis Weekly.
If there’s one thing that I think we can agree on, it’s that these sorts of insufferable buttholes are awful to be around. Their empty self-assuredness also leads me to believe that they’re not actually humans, but rather lizard people in skin suits.
Congratulations, guys. Despite all your best efforts of boozing and other activities driven by depression, you’ve made it to another installment of pine-scented anxiety season
My main takeaway has been that they’d really like to believe that Twitter is a viable job hunting tool
Come to think of it, if this were a Joel Schumacher film, the capsule would be the size of a tomb. Annie and John Bidwell would come dancing out in a puff of smoke, each wearing impossibly sparkly catsuits
Do you remember the Seinfeld episode when Kramer runs the marathon and refuses to wear the AIDS ribbon?